On Trauma-Informed Leadership

Years ago, a family member received devastating news—she had only a few months to live. In her pain, she lashed out at me during a phone call while I was driving to work. Our conversation was intense and draining, reigniting old wounds from my own childhood (although I couldn't articulate it back then). I pulled myself together in the parking lot and carried on with my day at work. But I couldn't shake the sickening feeling of dread and panic. Those feelings intensified and lingered throughout her illness and after her death.

Around the same time, another illness struck the family, leading to another death just weeks later. It was an overwhelming amount of grief and hurt all at once, and I became stuck in ruminating thoughts. Normal tasks seemed daunting, and as I desperately sought control, my work environment also became increasingly stressful in its own right. My activated state of being did not help my work situation, and I hyper-focused on keeping everyone safe—a coping mechanism I had developed from past experiences flaring to life yet again. Looking back, it was a perfect storm of real work issues compounded by a trauma state. While some managers attempted to address my behavior through scorecard conversations or explanations about the sales cycle, no one simply asked, "Are you okay?" "What's going on for you?" or "How can I support you through this?"

I can't fault them—I don’t believe they were trained or knew how to support people in situations like that back then. I couldn’t even understand what was happening within me.

Now, we're having these crucial conversations. We understand that organizations and leaders need to evolve and be better equipped to recognize the symptoms and effects of adverse life experiences and trauma—because those in the throes of it often won’t be able to see it themselves. We need the skills and tools to support employees, clients, and ourselves as leaders because experiences and emotions are a part of life, and life doesn’t stop at the office door.

What would it have looked like if I had a manager who recognized I was struggling and offered me support? What would it have been like if my manager had training and tools to help me regulate my nervous system? What conditions need to be in place to create a workplace that prioritizes health and well-being for all employees?

As we continue moving forward with Indigenous reconciliation, creating safety, and cultivating diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging (DEIB) within our communities and workplaces, it's vital for us all to have the awareness, tools, and empathy to be trauma-informed. Being a good leader is hard because it requires a tremendous amount of self-awareness, discipline, and courage to work on our own stuff while also supporting others.

When people in positions of power prioritize their own self-work, they prevent projecting their unresolved issues onto others.

Being a good leader means understanding when our own triggers, biases, and past experiences may flare up—catching ourselves before we project onto others from a place of pain or scarcity. We can be great leaders when we lead with integrity from a place of wisdom, not ego.

My own experiences have shaped me and led me to spend years working through my own challenges (and I continuously do so because, spoiler alert, you never stop) while also diving deep into leadership, coaching, and trauma-informed education so that I can be as equipped as possible to support others.

What does support look like for you?